RESUME George W. Bush The White House, USA
LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving
under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.
MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to
take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I earned alot of "gentleman's
C's," which means F's that are turned into C's for sons of prominent
Americans.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost I began my career in
the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I
sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR: I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power
and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city
in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American
history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme court, I became President after losing by over
500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I invaded and occupied two countries at a
continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month
period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
stock market.
I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year
period. After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the
worst security failure in U.S.history.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that
trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in
U.S. history.
I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president
since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families --in war time.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
protest me in public venues 15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against
the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world
community.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the
history of the United States government .
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow
inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war detainees and thereby have
refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate
attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court
during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
or prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than
has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in
history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in
the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view
my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas
are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.
LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving
under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.
MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to
take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I earned alot of "gentleman's
C's," which means F's that are turned into C's for sons of prominent
Americans.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost I began my career in
the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I
sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR: I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power
and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city
in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American
history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme court, I became President after losing by over
500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I invaded and occupied two countries at a
continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month
period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
stock market.
I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year
period. After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the
worst security failure in U.S.history.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that
trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in
U.S. history.
I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president
since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families --in war time.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
protest me in public venues 15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against
the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world
community.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the
history of the United States government .
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow
inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war detainees and thereby have
refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate
attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court
during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
or prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than
has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in
history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in
the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view
my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas
are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.
